Every day, I Espresso, Make Bed, Pop Allergy Pill, & Curse NJ Transit

I’m addicted to caffeine. I did a clean-eating diet (no caffeine, sugar, or processed foods) once for a mere week and had such severe headaches that I nearly killed myself by way of wall head-banging. Needless to say, caffeine keeps me alive. Therefore, the first thing I do in the morning – without fail – is make espresso.

Make Bed
For as long as I can remember I made my bed in the mornings. This mere morning task meant, initially, keeping my mother at the door rather than in my room. Not that I had much to hide from her, but you never knew (back then) what would be a bad teenager red flag. She was right, though, it only took a few minutes out of the morning to make your evening more enjoyable. To this very OCD day I make my bed in the mornings, and when I come home from work there is less weight on my shoulders and more time to do something like watch Real Housewives. And, as my mom says, “Making the bed is just plain good housekeeping.”

Pop Allergy Pill
Since I’m basically allergic to everything from grass, pollen, bees, most insect bites, dairy, dust, seasons, mold, honey, feathers, and my own damn cat and dogs, I must take a rather large dosage of Allegra in the mornings (180mg) just to have every day experiences. According to google health, An allergy is an exaggerated immune response or reaction to substances that are generally not harmful. Google makes it sound more like another psychiatric issue, huh?

Curse NJ Transit
A $48 fare hike a couple months ago, but yet no train is ever on time. I pay $208 a month ($416 total with my wife’s pass) to catch a train that can never keep to a schedule. From the above ‘things’ you can tell that schedules and routine are pretty much who I am. NJ Transit, I curse the day I met you.

The People of The United States of discrimiNATION

As a child, I had no experience with discrimination so therefore I did not have any prejudices (other than food).  Around the age of five or six while vacationing with my family in Truckee, California, I saw my first transgendered person.  I was playing on a pile of lumber (yes, my parents let me play in a lumber pile which is more dangerous than the hello I shared with the transgendered stranger) and a deep orange VW bus putted along the back road as the passenger took in the breathtaking scenery that the Truckee River offers.  I was immersed in my own world of play as the Doppler Shift of the hippie music pulled me out.  I turned around to see the passenger’s hand making hand waves out the window as the VW bus inched closer to my makeshift playland.  The Dr. Frank-N-Furter looking person watched me watching him with a curiosity that was frightening.  As his/her face softened into a loving smile, my scared feeling faded into a safe smile and I turned to run into the house.

Initially, I was afraid of the stranger because he/she was different and I didn’t know why he/she looked like that.  As the hippie music moved closer and I saw my first transgendered person, I can’t say I innately had any prejudices other than why is this person different looking?  With my own experience, THAT moment was a defining moment of whether or not I would be a product of my environment and carry on a legacy of discrimination because my experience was a smile and a ‘Hello little one’ out the window.  My experience wasn’t hate-filled, but it certainly was one I had never experienced before.

My mom told me that just because someone is different from me doesn’t mean they don’t feel the same things I feel.  I asked but why did the boy look like a girl.  She told me that sometimes people have to figure out who they are in life.  In a defining moment, my mother asked me if the transgendered person scared me.

“Yes, mom.”

“Why?” She asked.

“Because he wasn’t like us,” My sponge-like brain awaited answers.

“Did he do something to hurt you?” She hugged me.


“So then why are you scared?” She continued.

I thought of his different face and how his soul beamed through his eyes as he looked at my fear dead on and with a caring heart smiled a warm smile at the little girl in shock.

“He smiled at me.”  I answered.

“So even though he was different he was a nice person, a good person maybe?”

I thought for a moment and replayed it in my head, “yep, he was nice.”

There is a moment like that in every one of our lives; a moment that shapes our perception.  Truth be told, I later found in life I was the one different and having been on both ends of the potential discrimination table I can tell you that discrimination is inherited.

I feel very fortunate that my mother, A TRUE CHRISTIAN, had an infinitely open heart to teach mine to be just as open and is currently teaching my little brothers the same.   Many parents are not like her and hand down discrimination to their children  and so on and so forth.  I told you this story because deep down somewhere you too have a moment like the above and if we can educate children about the facts of discrimination and stop spreading it, the world will be one big open heart.

Please read these facts and then join our fight for equality.


I’d Like To Take A Moment To Apologize.

For the posting about the Real Housewives of NYC where I post ‘I f*cking love these bitches’ in which my mom comented, “Lisa, I can’t believe your language…not the “f” word and other such verbs! PLEASE! from mom”

An open letter to my mom:

Dear Mom,

I’m sorry for the potty mouth.  I’ll clean it up!


your daughter.


Happy Birthday Mom

I hope your day is amazing! You’re the best person I’ve ever known, and I love you with all of my soul. Happy 47th 😉

I’m An Okie, What Can I Say!

Below is spam my mom sent me, and because it’s my mom I feel guilty simply deleting it unread like everyone else….below was true in all forms of the word, for me growing up!

FW: Growing up in a small town

Those who grew up in small towns will laugh when they read this. Those who didn’t will be in  disbelief and won’t understand how true it is.

1) You can name everyone you graduated with.

2) You know what 4-H means.

3)  You went to parties at a pasture, barn, gravel pit, or in the middle of a dirt road.  On Monday you could always tell who was at the party because of the scratches on their legs from running through the woods when the party was busted.  (See #5.)

4)  You used to “drag” Main .

5)  You scheduled parties around the schedules of different police officers, because you knew which ones would bust you and which ones wouldn’t.

6)  You could never buy cigarettes because all the store clerks knew how old you were (and if you were old enough, they’d tell your parents anyhow.) Besides, where would you get the money?

7)  You knew which section of the road ditch you would find the beer your   buyer dropped off.

8)  It was cool to date somebody from the neighboring town.

9)  The whole school went to the same party after graduation.

10) You didn’t give directions by street names but rather by references.    Turn by Nelson’s house,  go two blocks to Anderson’s and its four houses
left of the track field.

11) The golf course had only 9 holes.  (Mind you there was no golf course when I was there.)

12) You couldn’t help but date a friend’s ex-boyfriend/girlfriend.

13) Your car stayed filthy because of the gravel roads and you will never    own a white vehicle for this reason.

14) The town next to you was considered “trashy” or “snooty” but was   actually just like your town.

15) You referred to anyone with a house newer than 1955 as the “rich”  people.

16) The people in the big city dressed funny, and then you picked up the
trend two years later.

17) Anyone you wanted could be found at the local gas station or on Main
Street .

18) You saw at least one  friend a week driving a tractor through town or
one of your friends driving a grain truck to school occasionally.

19) The gym teacher suggested you haul hay or pick rock for the summer to
get stronger.

20) Directions were given using THE stop light as a reference.

21) When you decided to walk  somewhere for exercise five people would    pull over and ask if you wanted a ride.

22) Your teachers called you by your older siblings’ names.

23) Your teachers remembered when they taught your parents.

24) You could charge at any local store or write checks without any ID.

25) There was no McDonald’s.

26) The closest mall was over an hour away

27) It was normal to see an old man riding through town on a riding lawn

28) You’ve peed in a corn field.

29)  Most people went by a nickname.

30)  You laughed your butt off reading this because you know it is true
and you forward it to everyone who may have lived in a small town.

My mom’s ‘Dear Santa’ Letter

Trust me this is antique!  Her name is Linda and her sister’s is above hers.


Water Mass

My urine is almost clear, and I’m hoping to drink 4 bottles of water today unless I drown. I’m on a health kick because quite frankly if I don’t start now I won’t be able to lift my fat ass leg high enough to kick anything. I’ve been reading articles upon articles about water’s role in weight loss and health, and wanted to share the below article I read (mostly in hopes of my own mom reading this and replacing one of her 100 cans of Pepsi a day for at least one bottle of water).

Think You’re Drinking Enough Water?

By Leroy R. Perry, Jr.

Condensed from PARADE

If you’re not, you could end up with excess body fat, poor muscle tone, digestive complications, muscle soreness — even water-retention problems.

Next to air, water is the element most necessary for survival. A normal adult is 60 to 70 percent water. We can go without food for almost two months, but without water only a few days. Yet most people have no idea how much water they should drink. In fact, many live in a dehydrated state.

Without water, we’d be poisoned to death by our own waste products. When the kidneys remove uric acid and urea, these must be dissolved in water. If there isn’t enough water, wastes are not removed as effectively and may build up as kidney stones. Water also is vital for chemical reactions in digestion and metabolism. It carries nutrients and oxygen to the cells through the blood and helps to cool the body through perspiration. Water also lubricates our joints.

We even need water to breathe: our lungs must be moist to take in oxygen and excrete carbon dioxide. It is possible to lose a pint of liquid each day just exhaling.

So if you don’t drink sufficient water, you can impair every aspect of your physiology. Dr. Howard Flaks, a bariatric (obesity) specialist in Beverly Hills, Calif, says, “By not drinking enough water, many people incur excess body fat, poor muscle tone and size, decreased digestive efficiency and organ function, increased toxicity in the body, joint and muscle soreness and water retention.”

Water retention? If you’re not drinking enough, your body may retain water to compensate. Paradoxically, fluid retention can sometimes be eliminated by drinking more water, not less.

“Proper water intake is a key to weight loss,” says Dr. Donald Robertson, medical director of the Southwest Bariatric Nutrition Center in Scottsdale, Arizona. “If people who are trying to lose weight don’t drink enough water, the body can’t metabolize the fat adequately. Retaining fluid also keeps weight up.”

The minimum for a healthy person is eight to ten eight-ounce glasses a day,” says Dr. Flaks. “You need more if you exercise a lot or live in a hot climate. And overweight people should drink in an extra glass for every 25 pounds they exceed their ideal weight. Consult your own physician for their recommendations.

At the International Sports Medicine Institute, we have a formula for daily water intake: 1/2 ounce per pound of body weight if you’re not active (that’s ten eight-ounce glasses if you weigh 160 pounds), and 2/3 ounce per pound if you’re athletic (13 to 14 glasses a day, at the same weight).

Your intake should be spread throughout the day and evening. You may wonder: If I drink this much, won’t I constantly be running to the bathroom? Yes. But after a few weeks, your bladder tends to adjust and you urinate less frequently but in larger amounts.

And by consuming those eight to ten glasses of water throughout the day, you could be on your way to a healthier, leaner body.


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