M is for…

So long MTV.

Advertisements

NYU HERE I COME

I wanted to announce, other than on Facebook, that I have been accepted into the New York University Stern Executive MBA program.  This is a huge accomplishment for me and will contribute greatly to all my endeavors both creatively and professionally.

For as long as I can remember, I had romanticized about being part of either the UC-Berkley or NYU community.  In a lot of my fiction writings, characters are often graduates of either two universities.  I’m beyond thrilled for this opportunity and for the fact that I don’t have to move to California just yet.

Do not fear, I have completed my first book so I will be seeking representation and hopefully published.  I will continue to write as often as I currently do in Wrestling The Hyperbole, but with more entertaining posts as I experience the graduate school life.  Writing is my calling, so I will continuously be working toward the craft and the ADD in me will probably finish at least another book by the time I get my MBA.

So, now you know.

A calling card charged to career

A coworker stopped me in the elevator bank at work and told me that I seem to be extremely unhappy, at least according to Facebook.  I did?  What did he mean?  When I asked, he mentioned unhappy as it related to work and explained how surprised he was to realize this because, personally, I seemed to be happy by nature.  My prior twelve-year battle with depression notwithstanding, I am happier than ever.  Was I really projecting my career discontent into the world?  GASP, had I truly become the type of person I loathe – a disgruntled employee?

Perhaps my burnout a few weeks back is the culprit of this negative status updating during the weekdays.  Although, I stand by my most recent update that weekends SHOULD be longer.  Nonetheless, I suppose I could be marinating in career apathy since the burnout.  One tremendous realization, thanks to burnout, was that this career was not my ‘calling’ but merely a ‘job’.  In that moment of realization, while freeing, you have a choice to jump ship for a new frontier or continue along the same peaks and valleys in the vehicle of responsibility.  Being as tenacious as I am, I’ve chosen the latter, but not indefinitely.  I’m looking to turn this burnout experience into a transformational experience.

What is my calling?  If you come here then you already know…to connect through writing.

My wife is the type of person that is  good at a lot of different things – almost everything – but not exceptional in just one thing.  I’m average at best at everything – below average in most – except writing.  Had my ego not taking me on a roller-coaster in the entertainment industry, I could have very well been the Nicholas Sparks of fiction.  But, my gut listened because this path led me through experiences that I wouldn’t have experienced in the four-walls that housed a computer.  I was out living my fiction and treading heavily through wonderful chaos.  Maybe I spent too much time carving out a space in an industry that doesn’t respect me or better my life in any way other than financially, but I accomplished my childhood goals.  I set out into the world and did exactly what I said I was going to do.  Goals I couldn’t do in my thirties and dreams I wouldn’t want for my thirties.  Goals that people said were unrealistic, but I proved them wrong.  Nonetheless, the fact remains that my purpose changed.  I don’t have anyone to prove a single thing to except myself, nor do I want to.  While my ego led me down a very intriguing road less traveled where I went off-roading on more than one occasion and slug some mud, I also rode that path hard and in the end ended up riding it with the best in the industry.  All of this was done, in perfect timing, so that I was young enough to sustain passion but not old enough to realize that one day we all sell our souls just a little.  Maybe veering away from my calling to carve out another career path was where I sold my soul, but I suppose struggling artists can only go so far before hunger sets.  I guess I just bought in low and thought I would sell high, but I’ve ridden the ups and fallen with the downs.  What’s riding for a bit longer when I do cash out it’ll be HUGE and to transition into my calling -writing.

Maybe I do seem unhappy to shift my focus to enabling others dreams and goals when what I really want to do is enable my own, but that’s what Sagittarius’ like me tend to do.  I’ll tell you one thing, though, once I pursue my calling there will be no stopping me.  By now, I’ve got an off-road vehicle that will leave most in the dust and I know how to use it.

Until then, I’ll work on happier status updates.

Jacktress of all trades.

My mom has only had two jobs her entire life and she’s retiring in April at the young age of 40 (we accidentally forgot to keep counting after 40).  Seriously though, I’m 32 and I’ve had 31 jobs.  At one point I was actually juggling four jobs while attending college full-time.  That is one less job than my actual age, but let’s face it there is the likelihood that I had the exact number of jobs as my age as I’m sure I’ve displaced one somewhere along the insanity.  Here is a list of the ones I remember:

1. Babysitter (Antlers, OK)

2. Joe’s Handy Stop (video clerk, cashier, stocking/cleaning slave @ $4.25 an hour – age 14 in Antlers, OK)

3. Mike’s Grocery (cashier and an extraordinary bagger in Antlers, OK)

4. United States Army Reservist (aka ‘Weekend Warrior’ with the advanced individual training of 75Charlie – Personnel Management Specialist – bootcamp at Ft. Jackson, SC)

5. Pizza Hut dishwasher (Stillwater, OK)

6. Pizza Hut delivery girl (I got promoted in Stillwater, OK)

7. Concert Promoter (Dropped out of college and headed to Buffalo, NY during the winter – I WAS REAL DUMB)

8. Camelot Music (Plano, TX)

9. CD Warehouse (Plano, TX)

10. USA Storage Unit (Plano, TX – most boring job in the world but at least I rode a golf cart around and peeked into storage units)

11. CD Corner (cool indie record store girl in Stillwater, OK – yes, went back to college)

12. KSPI Radio (alter ego DJ Jane Does – the gateway into management)

13. Artist Management (Jenny Labow)

14. Payne County Health Dept. (Thanks for getting me this job mom)

15. Artist Management (The All-American Rejects)

16. Bartender (Willie’s Saloon)

17. Tour Manager (The All-American Rejects)

18. Front desk of Truckee Hotel (Truckee, CA – good times)

19. Substitute teacher (Moyers and Antlers, OK after the first time in my life I ever got fired but in my defense AAR fired me for Green Day’s manager)

20. Continuity girl (NYC – The Breakup Artist – low-budget and I worked for peanuts…no really I volunteered but quit after ).

21. Telephone Operator for Doctor’s call service (Midtown East)

22. Temp (various record labels)

23. Sales Assistant (Elektra – finally got a break)

24. Director of A&R for Hautlab Records (finally, a pick me up)

25. Artist Management (The Effects)

26. Sales Coordinator at SOME Records (freelance sucks)

27. AOL Music (introduction into Corporate + Digital)

28. Artist Management (The Ropes)

29. MTV Networks (I had arrived – but now I realize arriving is only half the battle that you won’t win)

30. Artist Management (BETTY)

31. Writer (where I should have been instead of 30 other things).

I do suppose had I not had the 30+ jobs above I wouldn’t have much to write about now would I?  Besides, the 31st time is a charm.

How many and what fascinating types of jobs have you had?

The Bullshit of Growth, grab your boots.

Part of me thought the term ‘growing pains’ was bullshit – good TV show though.  Part of being an adult is being able to suspend your thinking and change your mind, and I have changed mine.

It all started around the age of eight or nine when my calf muscles ached something fierce at nighttime, and my Granny Ben would rub Absorbine Jr. on it.  I was in the 40% of children that physically felt their growing pains.  In my bodily defense, I took full advantage of my physical superiority probably more so than most little girls that played with Barbies all day.  Not me, I climbed trees with my boy cousins, ran faster than them, and rode my bike faster than the wind.  Too bad my parents bought me a girlie bike with a banana seat because what I really wanted was a rugged BMX with pegs.

Circa 1988ish – the pinnacle of divorce –  I was struck with the emotional growing pains of…you guessed it…divorce.  I sure wish they made an Absorbine Jr. for that!  Those growing pains were brutal.

When the nineties hit it yet another type of growing pain – physiological ones.  It was an awkward time that I prefer not to delve into again because it fits in like a pair of MC Hammer pants.

College was a time for experimenting of all genres and with this expanded my pant size.  The ego expanded and deflated as appropriate.  Often times reckless abandon for organized anything was merely a gateway to debauchery, and throwing caution to the wind defied everything we learned from our parents.  Didn’t you want them to be so dead wrong (your parents)?  I know I did and this rebellion was a growing pain that was the hardest to realize, but thankfully I eventually did, fixed my credit, and had enough failures to write a book.

Career growth, what can I say about that?  Sometimes you work for ten years to get what the intern that ‘knows’ the president of the company gets in less than a year going from intern to Director, but she hasn’t yet learned what you did in college (not to fall victim to compromising positions).  I’m just saying…she didn’t get there from paying her dues… like you, but then again maybe you’ll wise up and realize you’re now in debt with your soul.  Sometimes you soar, but most of the times what you dream of doing isn’t what pays the bills and growing to be okay with that is a big miserable lesson to learn.  This usually makes you fall victim to lottery tickets and a reintroduction to your college friend, alcohol. I’d take the muscle aches of growing pains any day over this because at least you’re inflicted and unaffected.  If you’re not a pessimist by this point of growth in life you will be, and if you aren’t we’ll who the hell do you think you are (steer clear of the rest of us)?!

I struggled greatly to break away from what was hammered into my head called religion in spirituality’s clothing, and I formed my own private spirituality to which contributes to my happiness.  I’ve learned not to talk about it with my mother, and since she’s my superfan on this  I will skip this too (along with the political section).  Love you mom.

Learning to not argue at impasses was a hard growing pain to get through, but it sure does make life less acrimonious.

Growing pains happen at every beat until your very last one, so you might as well grab the boots and wade through the bullshit.

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

%d bloggers like this: