Dear Jeffrey, 3 days until you’re 28…

I’ve learned that choices define you and (in more ways than even I can understand) others are contingent upon who I am to define parts of them.  Like you, Jeffrey, the choices you made while you were walking this earth presented choices that may not have been presented to me otherwise.  Some choices are poor and you can never take back, but at least they’re yours.  Though, a choice that takes away the choice of another is – in a lot of ways – a mortal sin that destroys the grace of not just the one left without choice but all those contingent upon. This becomes a domino effect of freewill genocide.

I’ve made my fair share of mistakes, and sometimes I knew good-and-well I was making them (I file these under the ‘mistakes I knew I was making’). However, today my soul rings of the voices and experiences in my life that moved me…changed me in one way or another…leading me closer to my truth.  I’m no longer in a goose hunt for truth searching frantically for instant gratification at the expense of others.  Truth journeyed into my heart.  It’s within me already and so many others contribute to it.  In so long as I am honest with myself, I’m honest with the world and putting forth energy that builds meaning.  I admire you, Jeffrey.  The energy you put forth into the world had such unequivocal grace, and that choice defines me and has become my only weapon.

Eternally grateful,

Sissy

My Childhood friend named Struggle.

Yesterday an agent rejected my manuscript citing, “I couldn’t get passed the first 50 pages because there is no point.”  As disappointing as this was it wasn’t too surprising because the overarching theme in my life is struggle without any connective purpose.  Might I mention, my manuscript is a memoir.

If I were Alanis Morissette and writing IRONIC, I would write the lyric, “It’s like buying a new house and getting a property tax increase before the first mortgage payment.”  It’s a good thing I didn’t learn the definition of Irony from her, rather I learned it from the movie Reality Bites; a little too ironic, don’t you think?

The cycle of life is fascinating, isn’t it?  Sometimes I hear that George Bernard Shaw quote, “Youth is wasted on the young,” and then I hear some artists wax about the possibility of more stories of youth because as an adult we take fewer chances.  How about spending nine years working on a career to finally arrive just to have the economy boot you back to hourly wages like nine years back. 

The energy you put into life you get back, Karma as it is called.  I believe it, really I do.  I throw more energy balls than many people I know, but lately every time I manifest I just hear my boss’ laugh when I asked her for a promotion.  

Maybe I should have taken my wife up on the offer to move into the rainforest of Maui and just live off our fruit stand?!  As the 25th President (William McKinley) of our broken country said, “We need Hawaii just as much and a good deal more than we did California.  It’s Manifest Destiny.” 

“Manifest plainness,
Embrace simplicity,
Reduce Selfishness,
Have few desires.”
                  Lao-Tzu

 

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