Global economic approaches through cows

COMMUNISM

You have 2 cows.

You give one to your neighbour.

SOCIALISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both and gives you some milk.

BUREAUCRATISM

You have 2 cows.

The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the

milk away…

TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM

You have 2 cows.

You sell one and buy a bull.

Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.

You sell them and retire on the income.

AN AMERICAN CORPORATION

You have 2 cows.

You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.

Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.

LEHMAN BROTHERS VENTURE CAPITALISM

You have 2 cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters

of credit opened by your brother-in-law at Bear-Sterns, then execute a

debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all

four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of

the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island

Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the

rights to all seven cows back to your listed company.

The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on

one more.

You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving

you with nine cows. The public then buys your bull.

A FRENCH CORPORATION

You have 2 cows.

You go on strike, organize a riot, and block the roads, because you

want three cows.

A JAPANESE CORPORATION

You have 2 cows.

You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow

and produce twenty times the milk.

You then create a clever cow cartoon image called ‘Cowkimon’ and

market it worldwide.

A GERMAN CORPORATION

You have 2 cows.

You re-engineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and

milk themselves.

AN ITALIAN CORPORATION

You have 2 cows, but you don’t know where they are.

You decide to have lunch.

A RUSSIAN CORPORATION

You have 2 cows.

You count them and learn you have 5 cows.

You count them again and learn you have 42 cows.

You count them again and learn you have 2 cows.

You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

A SWISS CORPORATION

You have 5000 cows. None of them belong to you.

You charge the owners for storing them.

A CHINESE CORPORATION

You have 2 cows.

You have 300 people milking them.

You claim that you have full employment, and high bovine productivity.

You arrest the newsman who reported the real situation.

AN INDIAN CORPORATION

You have 2 cows.

You worship them..

A BRITISH CORPORATION

You have 2 cows.

Both are mad.

AN IRAQI CORPORATION

Everyone thinks you have lots of cows.

You tell them that you have none.

No-one believes you, so they bomb the **** out of you and invade your

country.

You still have no cows, but at least now you are part of Democracy….

AN AUSTRALIAN CORPORATION

You have 2 cows.

Business seems pretty good.

You close the office and go for a few beers to celebrate.

A NEW ZEALAND CORPORATION

You have 2 cows.

The one on the left looks very attractive.

A TURKISH CORPORATION

You have 2 cows.

Both look very attractive.

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