Resolution Road

The moment resolution hits, the epiphanous revelation, it smacks you first back into yesterday before it smacks you again into tomorrow.  Yesterday is clearer the second time around, and seeing it from another perspective sears your heart before it tickles your wonderment.  Tiny shiny holes, not yet patched, spouting years of tears from slow leaks all this time.  Slow leaks eventually become puddles, and tiny holes eventually rip to expose the inner workings of a torn vessel.  Perhaps I could have prevented its rupture and maybe it should have been patched a long time ago, but I had always thought what doesn’t break completely can be ignored.

Reflection can easily seduce you; turn you on to another problem and send you goose chasing for years.  Abandonment, it’s easy to leave one for another when you’re incapable of wading through the mud and grime in the abyss of despair.  Your parents never fully prepared you, now did they?  Flirt with their involvement long enough and you forget to answer why you’ve started there.  So you get a flashlight, but there’s so much to see that the light becomes blinding and close your eyes to what you could see to focus on the daily.  Instant gratification to rape your soul, it’s much more pleasurable once you’ve realized you don’t have to drown and can breathe standing on someone else’s shoulders.  Loneliness, it comes in waves, sucking you back under to witness the corpse.  Sink or swim, what’s underwater will haunt you.

Before you know it, you’re on land.  Saved, it’s a miracle, cough the water from your lungs and breathe.  This person, your hero, and now you’re afraid to swim, afraid of any water that comes near.  They tell you to start slow, ease yourself back into where you almost drowned.  Reflection, the mistress, she’ll be waiting for her turn to seduce you and you’ll be seduced many times before she’s bored of you, tired of figuring something out.  She’ll send you on your way to resolution, a new town full of everyone you’ve ever known.  Hello’s are met one-by-one and you walk along the same path, but you only have a short distance in their shoes before it hits you, it’s your journey and they were just passing through.

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