TEASER: Passage from my book.

**I wanted to get my blog reader’s opinion on some of the contents in my book (nearly finished, yay), so here is a teaser.  Please comment and let me know your feedback–however negative or positive.  Also, my mom hates my book so if I can handle my mom’s dislike of it I can sure as hell handle yours…so no worries about being gentle.**

Dad wasn’t a man with a great deal of patience.  In a matter of time he was dating a nice lady with the same name as our mom, Linda; once again with two children the exact age as his own.  We adored Linda; she played with us and invested a lot of attention in us on our weekends with dad.  It was this craving we didn’t even know we needed until she disappeared just as quickly as dad’s girlfriend with the nice tits.  I overheard Granny Ben talking on the phone about Dad not being able to get any from Linda so he had to nip it in the bud early, and that she hoped the other one with tits didn’t come back because anyone with tits like that were no good sluts.

My curiosity got the better of me so I thought dad could tell me what Linda wouldn’t give him that made her disappear.

Dad’s gaze jolted to the loveseat where Bubba and I were sitting

“Your Granny Ben told you this,” He asked.

“No,” I thought I said something I shouldn’t have.  “She told Aunt Ellen on the phone.”

I sensed that tightness in energy all around me like I had done something I shouldn’t have, and Bubba hit me hard in the arm.

“Shut up dumb butt!”

“Ouch!” I screamed.

“Do you two want a belting,” Dad threatened.  “Don’t hit your sister, Bubba.”

“Well she says dumb stuff,” Bubba replied.

“I don’t either,” I defended myself not knowing what I did wrong.

“Your Granny Ben shouldn’t be saying that stuff around you,” He snarled.

“What wouldn’t Linda give you, Dad,” I wanted to know why he was punishing us.

“Shh, Falcon’s Crest is back on,” He pointed to the TV with the clunky silver remote.

Bubba elbowed me, “Shut up Sissy, you’re going to get us in trouble.”

I was getting pretty tired of no one answering my questions!  I liked Linda and I wanted to know what we did so wrong that we couldn’t see her again.  I got off the hay-colored sofa and marched right in front of the TV and turned it off because Angela Channing was never coming out of the coma anyway!

“What wouldn’t Linda give you, Dad?”

“She wouldn’t give me her candy,” He turned the TV back on with the remote.  “She was stingy.”

That was it?  Dad broke up with her because she wouldn’t give him candy?  My anger simmered to a slight confusion as I walked back and took my seat next to Bubba on the loveseat.  Moe Moe was pretty stingy with his Bonkers and would always pretend he didn’t have any candy and eat all mine, so I guess I understood where dad was coming from.  It would sure be boring on dad’s weekends without Linda around.

RIP: Michael Jackson, King of Pop

In a Dear Santa Letter in grade school I asked Santa for a Michael Jackson doll.  On Christmas I was thrilled to unwrapped a doll-size Michael Jackson replica wearing a red-leather jacket, black leather jeans, a white glove, and black penny loafer shoes.

Michael Jackson was the very first person in music that I liked, individual of my parents so he symbolizes musical autonomy in my life.  I couldn’t deny his artistry, style, and the way he made me feel as a child of the eighties.  The pint-sized MJ rocked with me for a couple years until I was able to actually start something of my own music collection.  I put the MJ doll aside as I played the Thriller record over and over trying to figure out why the girl was his but Billie Jean was NOT his lover, and all the while just a pretty young thing that wanted her own ‘bubbles’.

I suppose it’s only Human Nature to feel sadness and like a part of my childhood died as MJ passed away.  There is something to be said for MJ and there is no other artist (Madonna pending) like him and his career…well, you can’t Beat It!

Rest In Peace my childhood friend, though we never met I remember the time.

Won’t you join me? We’re taking our fight for equality to Washington, DC!

I will be there, and I hope all of you will as we invade Washington, DC and demand equality!  Put this in Outlook and sync to your smart phones, email it, text it, tell everyone about it, and certainly tweet it!

more about “Won’t you join me? We’re taking our …“, posted with vodpod

U.S. Census Will Count Married Gay Couples

**the U.S. Just wants the median income to be higher and since us gays are typically smarter and make more money (j/k but kinda true)**

Associated Press
Sunday Jun 21, 2009

Married same-sex couples will be counted as such in 2010, Census Bureau officials said, reversing a decision of the Bush administration.

Steve Jost, a spokesman for the Census Bureau, said same-sex couples would be counted, “and they ought to report the way they see themselves,” adding, “In the normal process of reports coming out after the census of 2010, I think the country will have a good data set on which to discuss this phenomenon that is evolving in this country.”

Same-sex couples could not be married in the United States during the last decennial count. But last year, after two states had approved same-sex marriages, the bureau said those legal marriages would go uncounted because the federal Defense of Marriage Act prevented the government from recognizing them.

Since President Obama took office, his administration has been under pressure from gay rights advocates to take a fresh look at the issue.

The White House announced Friday that its interpretation of the act did not prohibit gathering the information.

Dignity

As I pack, yet again, to move to another place to put my stuff, I pack my brother’s urn into his green-velvet box with the words ‘Dignity’ written inside.  I suppose it’s the name of the boxmaker, or the company in which the funeral home orders from.  The words I only see as my little brother travels from place-to-place with me.

Dignity; an oxymoron that his few bones in that pewter urn, which were scattered over the Oklahoma mountain after decomposition from one (or two) that threw his dead body out like a sack of rotten potatoes, rests in such a capsule being that he was 6″3.

I think about that scene in Face Off where the kid, so innocent and unaware, is amidst the gunfire and chaos as “Over The Rainbow” blares through his headphones.  That’s how I imagine my brother spent his last moments; innocent of the pollution around him.

Although at times I think about one of the most famous Shakespearen quotes, “Et tu, Brute?” I wonder if my brother felt the ultimate betrayal like Caesar when he realized that someone (or two) he deeply cared about was the hand that took his life, and LET ME ASSURE YOU IT WAS SOMEONE (OR TWO) THAT HE ADORED.  The moment he realized he was going to die, he also realized he was betrayed.  Can you imagine leaving the world with that knowledge?  You die alone, this much is true, but it probably feels less scary to see those you love around as you make the transition into the afterlife.  The last look of this world my innocent brother got was deception.   It makes it hard for me to not betray my opposition to capital punishment, I’ll tell you that!

It won’t be long until I unpack by brother, yet again, and read “Dignity” on his green-velvet box as I place him on my desk where he belongs; beside me as we write his story.

ONLY in my Home Sweet Home

Police: Man attacked in Okla. for bologna sandwich

OKLAHOMA CITY – A man in Oklahoma City said he was attacked for his bologna and cheese sandwich. Police say 24-year-old Roger Hamilton told them he was sitting on a bus station bench Wednesday, about to put mayonnaise on his sandwich, when another man began staring at him.

Hamilton told police that the man then punched him in the mouth and grabbed his sandwich and left.

Police said Hamilton has a swollen lip and his face was covered in blood. The police report listed the value of the sandwich at 76 cents.

Police have not found the attacker.

From The Archives: Resonance

**I wrote this poem about how my (now) wife awoke my soul**

Lines could not have blurred more clearly,

But I knew there was no reading between them,

It was what we knew it was,

The world predicts it cleverly,

Putting two spaces into one quite beautifully blatant,

Awaking faucets of the soul,

Freeze-frame moments that could never be ignored,

Eyes like tunnels,

Depth that transcends time,

Karma reaped,

Tingles of desire,

You unleash the fire in my spirit,

So I live life with an open heart.

Picture Perfect!

My Mirrored Soul

I knew everything about my changing body as a child.  Curiously, I watched change take form within me with every deepening of my eyes, plumpness of my lips, and the spirit beaming through my eyes.  There wasn’t a freckle I didn’t know about; no stone left unturned.  The one thing the mirror couldn’t answer for me was, who is Alisa? 

As I grew from a child into a teenager, facial expressions were mirrored back to me in my bathroom.  Posing, I knew how to pout my lips just enough to where it didn’t look too contrived and I knew how to put on my eyeliner to make my hazel green eyes pop.  I watched myself like a character, but I was only an actress. 

Once I graduated from a teenager into a young woman, I didn’t have a big mirror and I couldn’t afford to stand around looking into the measly makeup mirror I acquired along the way.  It wasn’t until life batted me around a bit and I returned home to the mirror of my childhood that I stood trying to answer the question—who am I?  I could no longer see the poses I had once thought so highly of, and my eyes looked sad and without wonder like they did when I was a child. 

I started looking into other mirrors: writing, photography, and making collages.  People marveled at my words.  They gazed with appreciation at my photograph.  Some people smiled at the collages and kept them near and dear.  I didn’t see myself in any of it because it came so easily to me that I felt guilty for even taking credit.  Something so simple and people could see who I was, but I couldn’t.

I boozed, I schmoozed, and I moved up the ladder.  There were accolades and there were loved ones that left the world.  My heart had loved foolishly and was broken intelligently. People hurt me and I hurt people, but there were those people that stuck by me through all this as I had with them.  I had made poor decisions until I didn’t make them anymore.  My mind had been back and forth between the dark side of the moon and the brightest sky in the universe.  I’d needed help at times, and I’d helped sometimes.  I’d had a lot of money and lost it all.   Life happened all around, hard knocks, and I avoided that mirror.

 Tonight, I looked in my mirror and I moved right through the expressions and welcomed my imperfections.  Life had written my face and it changes day-to-day, my old soul just smiles to say ‘age happens’ and I’ll wax those brows tomorrow.

My cousin’s water ski wipe-out

FFW to the 1:27 mark for the actual wipe out.